So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it's great music for shaving your balls
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
