oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
