If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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