at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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