i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
