My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
