I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
