She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
