She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
