I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
