I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
