New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
