she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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