Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i out mim tonsoeep
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