yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Randomize
