How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
