eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
