I wish I could punch you in the face.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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