My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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