One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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