We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
