I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She bit a glass in half.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
