I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
