question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
