Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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