you guys were way drunker than both of me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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