Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
