drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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