one two three fourrrrnication!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
