dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
