another moral hangover. fuck.
I cockslap morals
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
