I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
