the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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