marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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