I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
