Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
