belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize