Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
