therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
