so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
