He felt like a one man threesome
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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