You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
