dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
