Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
