I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
