Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
