this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
