Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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