Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
only if we run a train.
done.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
