from now on my penis is your penis
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
