i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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