planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
