If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
