The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
